His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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