STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
