I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize