New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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