kristin has been a bad kristin
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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