My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
