I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
