You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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