Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
