Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
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It's official drugs can't kill me
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
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She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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