Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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