Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
