Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
