Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
