Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
