More tranny stories later!
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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