Texts From Last Night

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  (806): View more from Texas

  my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.

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  (806): my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar. http://tfl.nu/xuyq
  Replies (33) Good night (2941) Bad night (748)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song

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  (740): Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song http://tfl.nu/pqc4
  Replies (20) Good night (4149) Bad night (1241)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  Oh shit. There are penis maracas

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  (434): Oh shit. There are penis maracas http://tfl.nu/sti5
  Replies (4) Good night (1868) Bad night (801)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.

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  (506): Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes. http://tfl.nu/7d2r
  Replies (2) Good night (1936) Bad night (689)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.

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  (417): What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now. http://tfl.nu/j4tm
  Replies (9) Good night (745) Bad night (1418)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.

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  (613): I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students. http://tfl.nu/r17p
  Replies (7) Good night (851) Bad night (472)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.

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  (858): PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS. http://tfl.nu/mje4
  Replies (0) Good night (1818) Bad night (445)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking

  (1-802): View more from Vermont

  Omg so it's educational?

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  (802): There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking (1-802): Omg so it's educational? http://tfl.nu/zo1h
  Replies (2) Good night (761) Bad night (331)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!

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  (512): Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it! http://tfl.nu/uy3p
  Replies (8) Good night (1459) Bad night (355)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "

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  (217): He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick " http://tfl.nu/w39y
  Replies (2) Good night (760) Bad night (344)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?

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  (330): Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night? http://tfl.nu/irts
  Replies (0) Good night (708) Bad night (368)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.

  (1-601): View more from Mississippi

  Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.

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  (601): My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service. (1-601): Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar. http://tfl.nu/yh0y
  Replies (1) Good night (1070) Bad night (363)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.

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  (908): I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work. http://tfl.nu/8nqq
  Replies (3) Good night (708) Bad night (314)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?

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  (519): You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!? http://tfl.nu/kwzr
  Replies (3) Good night (677) Bad night (258)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.

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  (406): You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10. http://tfl.nu/a2lw
  Replies (2) Good night (590) Bad night (193)

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