Texts From Last Night

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  (540): View more from Virginia

  i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.

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  (540): i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low. http://tfl.nu/0dri
  Replies (14) Good night (893) Bad night (3783)
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  (626): View more from California

  You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.

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  (626): You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I. http://tfl.nu/6sde
  Replies (9) Good night (6993) Bad night (884)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day

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  (817): Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day http://tfl.nu/cyg4
  Replies (16) Good night (958) Bad night (3633)
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  (914): View more from New York

  we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.

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  (914): we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was. http://tfl.nu/57fr
  Replies (27) Good night (6127) Bad night (1699)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.

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  (330): Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome. http://tfl.nu/sdp2
  Replies (8) Good night (5329) Bad night (939)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.

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  (519): I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex. http://tfl.nu/xdk5
  Replies (11) Good night (4223) Bad night (787)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?

  (219): View more from Indiana

  yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?

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  (219): about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town? (219): yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes? http://tfl.nu/jl45
  Replies (5) Good night (2379) Bad night (738)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!

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  (678): Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?! http://tfl.nu/sa9o
  Replies (10) Good night (2158) Bad night (684)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.

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  (740): Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves. http://tfl.nu/uw3n
  Replies (11) Good night (1620) Bad night (1015)
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.

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  (985): I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud. http://tfl.nu/94cv
  Replies (5) Good night (919) Bad night (542)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.

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  (320): So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian. http://tfl.nu/850i
  Replies (2) Good night (1199) Bad night (747)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?

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  (978): do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man? http://tfl.nu/w8vx
  Replies (7) Good night (1402) Bad night (393)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills

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  (301): I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills http://tfl.nu/lwly
  Replies (5) Good night (315) Bad night (963)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive

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  (256): Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive http://tfl.nu/bi4t
  Replies (3) Good night (652) Bad night (660)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".

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  (501): Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow". http://tfl.nu/7f9c
  Replies (2) Good night (265) Bad night (454)

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