Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
