Texts From Last Night

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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.

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  (715): Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again. http://tfl.nu/2g9l
  Replies (28) Good night (1165) Bad night (3920)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents

  (636): View more from Missouri

  never have sex?

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  (314): sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents (636): never have sex? http://tfl.nu/1ynn
  Replies (44) Good night (3999) Bad night (677)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.

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  (928): Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting. http://tfl.nu/1dh0
  Replies (56) Good night (5628) Bad night (686)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer

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  (703): Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer http://tfl.nu/3upq
  Replies (42) Good night (3671) Bad night (1006)
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  (845): View more from New York

  felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter

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  (845): felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter http://tfl.nu/o0yy
  Replies (33) Good night (1466) Bad night (6345)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.

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  (541): You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night. http://tfl.nu/2m2y
  Replies (6) Good night (4504) Bad night (1093)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar

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  (937): It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar http://tfl.nu/zdja
  Replies (5) Good night (1484) Bad night (552)
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  (310): View more from California

  Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub

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  (310): Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub http://tfl.nu/ka0h
  Replies (12) Good night (527) Bad night (2066)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming

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  (715): Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming http://tfl.nu/sgtd
  Replies (1) Good night (712) Bad night (257)
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  (760): View more from California

  He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....

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  (760): He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch.... http://tfl.nu/h307
  Replies (1) Good night (728) Bad night (342)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.

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  (423): I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume. http://tfl.nu/wnwb
  Replies (1) Good night (522) Bad night (340)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  That's right. I did.

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  That's right. I did.

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  (403): That's right. I did. (403): You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing. (403): That's right. I did. http://tfl.nu/55sv
  Replies (5) Good night (326) Bad night (486)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!

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  (720): Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?! http://tfl.nu/s1bh
  Replies (4) Good night (738) Bad night (273)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."

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  (727): they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room." http://tfl.nu/y4b1
  Replies (2) Good night (589) Bad night (254)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo

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  (518): We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo http://tfl.nu/l3yn
  Replies (3) Good night (243) Bad night (647)

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