Texts From Last Night

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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving

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  (601): Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving http://tfl.nu/z8pa
  Replies (31) Good night (853) Bad night (3196)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.

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  (585): Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird. http://tfl.nu/h1yk
  Replies (8) Good night (2959) Bad night (1523)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??

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  (201): dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her?? http://tfl.nu/1hfi
  Replies (8) Good night (1048) Bad night (3827)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.

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  (732): No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day. http://tfl.nu/5atz
  Replies (29) Good night (5292) Bad night (1980)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"

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  (917): I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people" http://tfl.nu/5d9d
  Replies (20) Good night (7556) Bad night (1752)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"

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  (570): as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing" http://tfl.nu/9hoo
  Replies (10) Good night (5266) Bad night (1024)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city

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  (407): I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city http://tfl.nu/5mtu
  Replies (32) Good night (6076) Bad night (947)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.

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  (412): he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor. http://tfl.nu/z7yu
  Replies (34) Good night (11303) Bad night (1499)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.

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  (614): i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better. http://tfl.nu/octl
  Replies (6) Good night (4882) Bad night (763)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.

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  (615): you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this. http://tfl.nu/3l9v
  Replies (30) Good night (1038) Bad night (7558)
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  (559): View more from California

  she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.

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  (559): she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer. http://tfl.nu/y0m8
  Replies (8) Good night (844) Bad night (1935)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips

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  (813): I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips http://tfl.nu/x2sl
  Replies (25) Good night (682) Bad night (1285)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us

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  (902): I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us http://tfl.nu/ltgm
  Replies (3) Good night (1645) Bad night (503)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?

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  (325): I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good? http://tfl.nu/0pjz
  Replies (3) Good night (594) Bad night (958)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Yeah but the people love.

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  (781): Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus (908): Yeah but the people love. http://tfl.nu/k9ua
  Replies (2) Good night (915) Bad night (283)

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