Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize