Can Purell be used as lube?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
