I'm laying in your front yard are you home
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
