..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
