i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
