Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
