His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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