We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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