So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
