So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
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