Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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