omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
