I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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