I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
