Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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