Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You ate ashes out of my bong
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
