The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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