and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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