I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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