I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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