no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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