Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
