butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
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