My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
