OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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