So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
