The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
