I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
