State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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