thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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