i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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