you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Are we still banned from the library?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
