Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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