Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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