Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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