Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i dont even know how to be here
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
