so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Randomize
