So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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