just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Randomize
